5 fingers, one whole hand

That's how many Colton turned today. Five. F-I-V-E. I was 22 when he was born.  It seems like an eternity since he was a newborn... it feels just like yesterday.

It may sound cliche, but when he was born, my world CHANGED.  I knew absolute and unconditional love.  I remember staring at his soft chubby cheeks... and being so in LOVE, so infatuated, I couldn't think of anything else.

Even today, I'm just.... at a loss of words.  Another parent would understand how it feels to not be able to describe the feeling.

My Colton, my boy, my baby.  I simply, love you.  Your smile, the sparkle in your eye when you laugh.  Your laugh, I love that chuckle... your passion for silly and fun and adventure is truly expressed in your laugh.  I don't have any "good pictures" of you lately becaus you're always up to something. 

We don't snuggle as much as we did when you were brand new... but I like how you sit RIGHT by me when we're watching your favorite cartoon, Phineas and Ferb... or when we play Super Mario Bros on the Wii together.  I like how you give me a hug and a kiss every morning before school... and that you make sure I wave bye to you from the door.  I can't help but smile when you blow me that kiss then turn around to giggle with your friends.

I get jealous when you want to do guy things with your dad or take an afternoon nap with Daddy, but it is so fun hearing you talk about cars like a guy.

I love how you're not scared of anything, except the dark.  You LOVE new people and haven't ever been scared to go new places.  This year has been a big one for you.  You started school! I cried like a baby when I left you there, but you sat down and introduced yourself to your classmates.  You've only cried at church when it is time to leave Sunday school.  You'll tell a Wal-Mart cashier your entire life story if they give you the time to do so.  Being a shy person myself, I truly hope you keep your outgoing spirit.... and your perserverance, it will take you SO far baby, SO far.  You're destined for some kind of greatness, I just know it.

Speaking of school, I'm so proud of you.  A brilliant kid, you are.  I'll never forget you coming home after the first day, and being upset that they made you TRACE your name.... you already know how to write your name.  You pretty much know all of your "stuff", but seeing your personality grow as you socialize with more people is amazing.  I love hearing your version of how you made the right choice and don't get into trouble at school.  I'm not worried about you at all.

It breaks my heart to see you have jealous days at home.  The past few months have been tough on you, with Tyler becoming more of a kid, rather than a lump who doesn't do anything.  Just give it time baby, soon you two will be having secret conversations, dreaming up boyish mischeivous schemes, and will be the BEST FRIENDS EVER.  It is a hard thing to understand, sharing your mom and your things, but I know you'll come along.  I do hear you being nice to him, and teaching him good things.  I know you love him.

I love you, with all my heart, my five year old. (yes, you did ask me how I could love YOU and Daddy, and Tyler with all my heart each... then you figured I must have three hearts, one for the each of you)  I just want you to be strong in your faith, in your decisions, and to be confident and unafraid of the path that lies before you... and to still be so gosh darn happy!

(birthday celebration pics coming tomorrow)